Nervous Breakdowns

The past week has been a tough one. Nathan had the flu. Will had the flu. I had the flu. Carter, somehow, managed to miss getting the flu. He does have an aggravating cough, but that is really about all. I heard him tell Will, "You are a little too close to my face, Will. You have the flu and until you are better, you shouldn't get right in my face." Poor Will tried to take the $50 flu medication that allegedly shortens your illness by 1 or 2 days, but he couldn't keep it down. The remarkable thing is that Nathan had it from Sunday night until nearly Friday. Will had it mildly Wednesday, then a little worse on Thursday through Friday afternoon. I had it Sunday afternoon through Monday afternoon. Carter probably had it for 30 minutes one night while he slept. I've teased Nathan that he must be the weak link but I'd say it was more like he refused to slow down until he absolutely couldn't go anymore. Even in his horrible illness, he took out the trash! I jumped up on the morning of trash collection and said "I'm gonna go get the trash cans to the curb" since I heard the trucks rumbling down the street in a loud, mechanical wave. Nathan said, in a hoarse, quiet voice, "I already did." He's crazy.
Will has really been blossoming lately, despite any setback the flu may have caused. Just this morning he was singing and dancing in the kitchen and I wanted to get the video camera out to capture it, but if I move, the moment is lost. I'm forced to record these moments in my memory. I remember when Carter at 15 months danced around the kitchen in eager anticipation of a cupcake at his daddy's birthday party. Will's dancing is very similar and just as joyful.
He's also adding to his vocabulary at a fast pace. He likes to talk to his Mimi on the phone and she got him to say "Mama, Daa-eee, Dahdar, Mimi, Papa," etc. etc. It went on for seemingly ever. When you ask him to name an animal, he responds with what they say. For example, "Will, can you say cat?" "Meow" "Can you say sheep?" "Baaa aaaa." It's so cute it's sickening. But, he also has began to develop a sense of humor, which is crucial in this house. We have a painting of horses in our bedroom (this is Kentucky) and he loves to torture me by calling the horses "dowg." I know that we went back and forth over this for a solid 10 minutes one day. I would say "No horse." He would smile really big and say "dowg" and point. I started to get the feeling that he knew it's not a dog, but that it's funny to keep calling it that because I would get so exasperated. Then, I realized, he really was doing it on purpose. Nathan, as a half-interested observer said, "I think he's just doing that to make you laugh." It worked. He still does it. He will point to the painting and say "dowg" and I'll heave a sigh and say "No HORSE" and he smiles and says "Dowg!" "Hooooorse." "Dowg." Then he literally tosses his head back and laughs. It really is comic the way he does it and his father radiates pride as he tortures his poor mother.
Carter, too, has been utilizing his expanding vocabulary. His dad gave him some chicken for lunch and left me to coerce it in him. He kept insisting that the chicken was too hot (spicy) and after taking a bite, I had to admit it had a lot of pepper on it. He was so despondent that he said "This chicken is so hot, I'm having a nervous breakdown!" I was then on the phone and I could hear Carter in the kitchen, speaking as though he was on a loudspeaker saying "Intention everyone. Intention please! I _am _ having_ a _nervous _breakdown. Scank you." I have no idea where he would hear anyone say they are having a nervous breakdown. I mean, who knows where he picked that up!
This morning, we woke up to snow on the ground and no electricity. So, I started looking over Carter's newest artwork from school. It was a lovely snow covered tree scene. Then I noticed that he'd misspelled his name. CATER stood between the trees in blue ballpoint ink. I tried to point it out to him and no matter how I worded he looked at me with dull eyes, insisting he didn't know what I was talking about. Later, just about 5 minutes after the lights were back on, Carter presented himself with his piece and said "Mama, you must not have been able to see because it was so dark. But now that the 'tricity is on, you can see better." I looked and a big, dark red R had been inserted into his name in the proper place. I laughed and said "Carter, you are genius." Comedic genius, that is.
Finally, for some reason, Will loves to put on his coat and hat. I'm not sure why, but the other night, he came to my bedside where I was reading and handed me his hat. I put it on him. He left and returned with his coat. I put it on him. He said "Up" and held up his hands. I picked him up and he nestled up to me on the bed. Nathan walked through and asked "Are you going somewhere?" glancing at the clock. I smiled and shook my head no "He just likes to be prepared." Nathan laughed and went to get the camera but before he could return, Will had stripped off his hat and coat and was ready to find his big brother again.
My two little alpha males are passing these cold days wrestling with each other, banging on things, building towers, chasing each other and their mama, and generally all the things you expect from little boys. Carter loves to help in the kitchen mixing, pushing buttons, and licking spoons. Will follows instructions very well; his bathtub sponge somehow made it into the kitchen. Since, Carter and I were trying to clean up, I said "Will, see your sponge?? Can you take it to the bathtub?" He looked at it, walked over to it, picked it up and disappeared. A little while later, I checked up on his work. Sure enough, it was in the tub. Genius.

Fleeting moments

I've sat down and begun writing this at least three times and have not been able to get very far. Something, whether a child interrupting or my disinterest, has kept me from being able to record some wonderful and precious times. I hope this time sticks.
Will has been so cuddly and sweet lately, it's hard not to want to hold him and play with him all the time, neglecting anything else that may also need attention. We are trying to break him of eating a few bites at supper, then insisting to get down from his seat, only to beg me to sit in my lap, eat from my plate (or even his) while nestled up against me. We were all finished a few nights ago and here he came, saying "up up" and holding his arms up. He's really hard to resist. I picked him up and we - Carter and I- began counting his toes. He loved that. He mimicked us and counted his toes, too. Then I kissed one set of toes and he promptly offered the other one for fair treatment. I obliged and then he kissed his own toes. Then he wanted to start over and count them again. Carter found this to be adorable and agreed that we must do it again. So we did. Once we completed the routine, I sat up and removed my arms from around him in order to start gathering plates and silverware. After a few moments of sitting in my lap upright, he grabbed each of my hands with his and wrapped them around him again, he twisted his face up to mine and puckered up his lips as I've described them before - cheeks sucked in, lower lip tucked under top teeth- and he planted one on me. That called for some more counting and kissing and he was in heaven again.
Then tonight, the boys were playing in the floor of the kitchen while I was preparing supper and Carter was teaching Will about the ABC's on the fridge. After all the letters from the 3 separate sets had been placed in order, Carter said "chase me Will!" He took off to the right and Will's face lit up and he ran to the left to cut him off at the other side of the circle. They laughed and played for a long time together. As time for supper came, Will walked up to Carter and wrapped his arms all the way around him and hugged him tightly. Carter was so happy and I was wondering why we can't take pictures with our eyes, save them to our brains, hook up the usb cable through our ears and download the images to our computers. It was a beautiful fleeting moment of brotherly love.
Carter has also been in rare form. He said that he couldn't tell me the secret ingredient to the goop he made at the kids museum because the lady said if he did she would send LNs to get him. LNs? Nurses? I was pretty confused and even more confused when he started describing LNs to me and the pronunciation began to change. He kept talking about the movie "Ratatouille" and I was wondering if he was talking about one of the chef's or the gun the old lady used, or the rats. Finally, after an extreme amount of patience on his part, I was able to understand that it was like the short film on the same dvd - ALIENS! OH. But, I can't even try to phonetically spell what he was calling them in the interim between LNs and Aliens. Whew! I felt like I was playing a game of charades that was life or death. I was sweating and holding my breath, getting an ulcer. When I finally go it, he laughed and laughed and said I wasn't very good at guessing! Easy for him to say.
He told me today coming home from school that the cutest girls in his class are Bella, Kathryn, and Ava. But of course, Bella is "the most bootifullest." Then he says "Do you want to know who the handsome boys are in my class?" How could I pass that up??! "Me. That's one. Davis. And Mason." I asked him about Graham and he agreed that Graham was, also, one of the handsome boys. So, he amended it and said there were 4 handsome boys. I asked him how he knew who the handsome boys were and he said "I just know" and it sounded like a teenager - lots of self-righteous attitude. I told him I was glad he told me, but I had seen lots of pretty girls and cute boys in the class. I don't know for sure, but I bet he rolled his eyes.
He had supper at his Mimi and Docs on Friday while Nathan and I enjoyed Valentine's Day Observed. The next day, Carter said "You know what really weird happened at Mimi and Doc's last night?" I quickly weighed my options about whether ignorance is really bliss or if knowledge is power. In the end, curiosity won out. "They ate supper when it was still light outside! I mean, really light. It was daytime." I stifled some serious laughter because we have been eating so late in the recent weeks, I'd been feeling guilty. It seems like before I know what's happened it's 5 o'clock and I've not even thought about supper. So, Carter and I agreed we would try to eat before dark Sunday night. We missed it, but only barely. Nathan and I explained to him that the days are long in the summer and short in the winter. But, to him, it didn't matter that it was before 7, which isn't too late, but it's still dark. We're going to try again in a couple days. Tonight, he didn't want to eat until it was really dark.
Nathan has been sick in the bed most of the day. He must have the flu and I've been warned my chances of avoiding it are slim. I walk around waiting for the sky to fall in. This is the worst illness Nathan has had since I've known him. He is unable to get out of the bed for very long, can barely speak, and looks generally miserable. While Nathan sat with us briefly at supper, Carter told him he had a super power that would make him all better. He stuck his head under the table and I could her him quietly praying. As I've said before, Carter told us he had two superpowers - to love and to pray. We don't know where he learned that.
Carter has been spending his free time planning his 5th Birthday party. It falls on Wednesday, which was the day he was born. It seems like just a little while ago. He first announced that he only wanted a family party. I asked him what that meant and he said "You know, me, Will, Daddy, you....and Bob and Scratch, and Pounce, of course." Of course. I asked if he wanted to invite his grandparents, which prompted his dad to explain to him that some people will come whether they are invited or not and those people are grandparents. He said he would like them to come. So, I asked him if he wanted to have it here or at some other place and he said "I want to have it at the place with all the desserts!" That didn't really ring a bell and we were off on another guessing game. "You know - " and then he said a word that I could not even recognize anything of English in. He then described "where I was sick." Nothing. "But I got to eat some ice cream with some gummie bears after I felt better??" Then it hit me. I sat gob-smacked. Carter wanted to go to the Golden Corral. Not Gattitown. Not Chick-fil-a. Not McDonalds. He wants to go to the Golden Corral. I told him that if that is where he wanted to go, that is where we would go. A few days later, he began to reevaluate his guest list and he said there was someone else he was going to invite. I made him go through the whole list for me, just in case he'd added others I'm missed in some other planning adjustment. He listed those above and ended with "and Joe." Joe? You know, "Jo, who sends me the cards!" My aunt Joanna sends him cards and baby-sits every once in awhile to great reviews. I said "OH Nana Jo" He thoughtfully nodded and said "and Katie." So, my son will turn 5 with only one person under the age of 30 - his 1.5 year old brother - at his party. The AARP group invited are actually quite thrilled at the choice and I am wondering if Will is going to pick Senior Citizens Hour at Bob Evans for his 2nd birthday.
He asked me again "Why can't I just marry you??" I gave him the answer my Daddy gave me when I asked him why I couldn't marry him: "It's against the law." "Oh tarter sauce!"
Finally, today was the day I've dreaded for five years. I registered Carter for Kindergarten. I know I'm more nervous, anxious, scared, and panic-stricken than he will ever be about it. Like I said, his birth seems just a few fleeting moments ago.

A New Title

I have seriously considered changing the name of my blog to "My Life with 3 Alpha Males." I think that pretty much sums up what it's like around here. I tried it out on my mother-in-law, and she liked it, adding "add two more alpha males and you know what my life was like." I would rather not even try to imagine that right now.
Each male in this house believes that he is the one in charge and balks at one of the others trying to impress his will on the others. Individually, they are fine with this female, but get them together and all sorts of aggressive tactics surface to undermine the other two, thereby securing superiority. And sometimes, it's not the need to conquer, its just being a male. Even in the littlest one. Yesterday during Carter's lenghthy lunch time prayer, Will passed gas loudly and was so pleased with himself, he began to chuckle at his accomplishment. This left Nathan and me to bite the corners of our mouths to keep the consecrated air that Carter requires when asks the blessing. Apparently, the little alpha male who did the praying didn't hear the alpha male who was passing gas, because upon the prayer's completion, Carter said, "That was a really good prayer, wasn't it?!"
Right now, Nathan is reading a book to Carter and Will. Will is screaming because he is wanting to turn the pages. Carter is screaming "Will! Will!" And Nathan is saying "Guys! Wait- don't pull at the pages. _I'll_ be in charge of turning the pages." Which alpha male will win? Stay tuned to find out!
Carter has begun exhibiting a new talent as a singer/songwriter. He has a small kit-tar (guitar) that we got in Mexico. At the time, he felt that it was "NOT the best kit-tar in the whole wide world" because it wasn't the bigger one he wanted. But now, he's taken to it and carries it around and sings slowly and sweetly "Oh my koo-ka-lay-lee", three times in a row. This is followed by wild dancing and loudly singing "oh woh woh woh woh, " three times. It's pretty hilarious and the more we laugh the more he sings it. He composed another song after supper tonight called "I love you." It was about loving God and wanting you to love God, too.
Also, Carter has taken up physical fitness. During Will's nap today, he decided that he needed to do 100 push ups. His dad is an excellent push-upper as a former Wildcat. Carter got down and did 30 pretty good push-ups. I was very impressed. Then he did some sit-ups, toe-touches, arm circles, jumping jacks, and running in place. When he was done, he said "Ah, that felt good."
Not to be outdone, Will is still showcasing his acrobatic talent and lack of fear. As I spoke to someone from church on the phone, I couldn't figure out why the cordless phone was making the page noise. Carter has outgrown any delight this button pushing gives and Will is too short to reach the base as it is sitting on my desk. After I finished my call, I looked around and found that neither of the boys were near it. I don't think it could page itself, could it? Then about 20 minutes later, I walked into the living room to see Will standing up in the desk chair (which he first must have pulled out) and leaning over the desk to it's little shelf to reach the phone base. So, the good news it we don't have a ghost. The bad news is that the pediatrician was right, he's not going to be disciplined out of his innate urge to climb. I have it on good authority that his father was also a daredevil climber -as was his brother.
Which leads me to genes. In the nature vs. nurture debate, I used to lean heavily toward nurture. I doubted seriously that genes could really be in control of how our brains work in relation to reacting to stimuli. Or even personality. Disposition and temperament were things that were observed and then mimicked by children. However slowly, the truth began to be revealed to me. My first inkling that these mysterious codings in our DNA determines more than our eye color was when I found myself say something just like my father or like his family would say it. Initially, I thought I had just internalized their personality traits from observing and copying. But when my mother asked this harried mother what I'd like for my birthday and I answered, earnestly and truthfully, "to be left alone" she remarked that I was just like my father. Suddenly, I realized he used to say this exact statement and now I understood why he had said it. I hadn't said it because I thought it was funny or because I was trying to be like him, it sprung forth from my need for some peace and quiet. I had forgotten he used to say it. Briefly, I had even thought it was my own invention. That moment was when nature became a real possibility.
Then, after observing the similarities between my husband, his brothers, and their father, I am further persuaded the force is strong with them. One such trait is thriftiness. I will say at the outset, I find thriftiness to be admired. My motto is that if you are thrifty you are never poor. You may quote me on that, for I know I will need to be reminded. Being thrifty is certainly a learned value system but the degree to which this family can manifest such convictions is fused into their very beings. And when I say family, I include extended family. I will forgo any examples of the older generations because supplying evidence of their thriftiness is not needed. I only need to present this confirmation. As Carter and I discussed his birthday and the celebration he desired, it was necessary to pick out some napkins for his class lunch. On birthdays, the honoree may bring in napkins of their choice for the class. I suppose this keeps over-acheiver mothers like me from making cupcakes from the Martha Stewart Over-Achiever Mother Cookbook. Carter said, "why don't I save all the napkins that everyone else gives me and then give them back to those people on my birthday." Nathan radiated with pride and pronounced this a great idea. It was an idea from his family handbook of creative thriftiness. It is the genius of this thriftiness that it is also creative - each child would get a unique napkin that s/he would surely like - because they originally picked it out. It also saves us the price of two packages of new napkins. Carter has his father's creative thrifty gene.
Will, on the other hand, has his paternal grandmother's love of shoes. Yes, Will is a boy and he loves his shoes. When we tried some Crocs on him that matched his brother's, he couldn't stop looking at his feet and smiling. If you try to take shoes off of him, he protests vehemently and when it's time to put shoes on, he smiles and points his toes, giggling in anticipation. I was a little worried at first, but then I remembered one of our more masculine friends is in a career where appearance matters and he's big on shoes, too. He often comments on my son's shoes. And, of course, Michael Jordon. He completely revolutionized sport shoes and the industry. So maybe my son, who won't even take his shoes off to go to sleep, will have an important contribution in the footwear industry.
I'm not entirely sure what genes these boys have received from my DNA. Carter is pretty artistic and gets lots of comments from teachers about his ability in that area. And both seem to have my deep need for chocolate. Oh, and of course, my cheekbones.
Round 2: The three males are now fighting over who gets to sit in the big chair in the living room. The big one always seems to win. *smile*

Tell it to the judge.

I went back and read some of my old blogs to Nathan the other night and he was surprised I had written so many. Frankly, I was, too. I was more surprised that it was so painfully obvious that I have been writing them close to midnight. Most of them _almost_ said what I wanted them to say. Maybe close counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and blogs. *smile* When I was first introduced to the cyber world as a sophomore at UK, the professor required us to write essay answers on an old-timey blog for the whole class to read and comment on. She explained that we were not to worry about typos, punctuation, nor grammar too much - just content. That was back in the dark ages of computers, so I can't imagine readers are supposed to be too worried about those things. But, you know I'll go back and edit them. Maybe not until Will gets into school, but I will edit them.
I started writing these to keep track of my boys and how they grow. The problem is that keeping up with them has become so much more hectic, I need a secretary to dictate these to. I feel like I keep neglecting my chronicling duty for sleep. Sleep is much better at seducing me than writing. I've reached the point that I feel I could fall asleep if I'm still for more than 2 minutes. Sometimes I envy Carter's naughty step time because it's 4 minutes of required nothing. Ahhh.
I did, however, get some nice rest this past week. It was the celebration of my birthday. It lasts about a week. This way the pain of the event is minimized and I don't feel sad that it will be another year before I get a special day. Carter has been calling me the "Birthday Girl" which is fun and we all went up to Cincinnati for two nights this weekend to cap it off. We stayed in a hotel that had an indoor water park. Well, okay, it was across the parking lot from the actual hotel with the indoor water park. Nathan went up on Thursday morning for work and the boys and I were to meet him there that evening. It was supposed to be icy and possibly snowy, but it turned out to just be freezing cold. Carter loves staying hotels because he is obsessed with room service. I'm not even sure why, but he really wants to order it. We've explained to him that it's usually not that great of food, but he is unmoved in his desire. The hotel we were staying at was under rennovation and did not offer room service. So, in order to keep peace, Nathan provided the room service, which delighted Carter nonetheless. Will likes staying in hotels because he gets to sleep with Mama and Daddy. It was rather disappointing for him when we returned home and he returned to his crib. C'est la vie.
Friday was spent at the water park and visiting an awesome grocery called Jungle Jim's. It was a fun experience that even Carter speaks fondly of. The best part was finding the allergy free brown cows they were selling individually. We asked a lady if we could just go ahead and eat it now and save the wrapper for checkout and she smiled from ear to ear and said "Oh sure! Go ahead!" Will and I savoured ever bite. Carter and Nathan got a few bites, too, as it was as large as a Dove ice cream bar. Will would get so excited for another bite it reminded me of stories my parents tell of me getting excited when eating the original Mayfield Dairy Brown Cows when I was Will's age. His feet would dance and his hands would reach and he'd smile as wide as the ocean. It was so cold his lips turned red but he still came back for more. We can't find those in Lexington, and its probably a good thing. Then they wouldn't be so special. After this trip, Nathan and Carter returned to the water park to enjoy some more slides and spouts and waterfalls and lazy rivers.
The next day was full of girl stuff for the birthday girl: hair appointment and shopping. It was fabulous. Unfortunately, Will contracted a stomach virus which presented itself on the way home in the car. But, he and Carter were both troopers about it.
Sunday at church is when Carter said so many memorable things, I couldn't keep track of them all. He sat with me at the Nursery check-in table. There he told my friend Suzie, that her family was so lucky because they are "sooo cute." He is fascinated with their little girl (22 months old) and thinks she is the cutest little girl he's ever seen. Bella Clair, the rejector of his proposal, came up to say hi to him and he grunted "what do you want??" I quickly admonished him for his rudeness and he then began joking around with her older brother and her dad. I secretly wondered if he was playing hard to get?! Sometimes, he's a lot more sophisticated than I give him credit for being. Finally, as another friend of ours was signing out his daughters from nursery, Nathan arrived to ask Carter to help him clear the communion cups. This job is famously Carter's at our church. He's known as the junior deacon. However, he was busy coloring and without even looking up said "I'm busy." Our friend, Chris, started snickering which Nathan mumbled "Please don't encourage him." Chris then laughed out-right. He told us, "We still talk about the time at Bible study when you said something to Carter and he said 'Whatever, dad. Tell it to the judge." At this point, tears were literally filling Chris' eyes as he laughed and Nathan said "Oh man, don't encourage him." Chris walked off howling and Carter decided collecting communion cups was more fun than coloring and dashed off to the sanctuary.
After we were home and settled for the afternoon, I said to Carter, "You were very rude and mean to Bella Clair today. I've noticed that you don't talk to her any more and that when she's nice to you, you aren't kind to her." His eyes stared straight at me as though this was not news to him. He responded "I know. She said she wouldn't marry me. I really like her and I really think she's my girlfriend, but she won't marry me!" So, his snub was no mistake. My mother said if she's like a lot of girls, it will only make him more attractive to her. That's probably true. She's such a sweet and beautiful girl. I'm disappointed in Carter's ungentlemanly behavior. I decided that it was time for me to put my foot down. I looked him right in the eye and said "You know what?" He looked like a teenager "that God will help me find a girl?!" "NO." I cut him off, " I don't want to hear about you getting married or wanting to marry or asking someone to marry you for 20 more years. Do you understand? In 20 years, you may bring this subject up but until then, there is to be no talking about or even thinking about marriage from you. Do you understand?" He smiled and tried to make a joke, which let me know that I hadn't scared him too badly but just enough for him to need to lighten the mood. I think my father told me something like that and it worked out great for me!