Smelling the future

Raising two little boys is very complex. I never really knew what I was getting myself into and it's probably a good thing. There are so many things to observe and wonder or worry, really, if it's normal. I feel like I am constantly conducting field research on some intense scientific mission. Is it normal for my 20 month old to call most animals dogs and then provide the correct correlating sound? For example, Will sees a cat out the window, points and says "Dowg. Neow." I say, very slowly and exaggerated "No. Caaat." "Dowg. Neow." Clearly, this cannot be good. Then to cause further confusions, he will point to the horses in the bedroom and say "Dowg." I'll say "No, horses." He grabs his belly, throws his head back, and laughs hysterically as he makes a "neeeeeheeeey." So, maybe he's just a comic genius?! Which is it?

It doesn't help going for routine check-ups either. At least our current pediatrician is very reassuring, but I need to know why they give us a check list of milestones and then say "Oh, if he's not doing them all, it's okay." Well, why list them at all? Can someone please tell me. Two months ago, he was in for his 18 month check up, the only one I couldn't check was "Can your child remove his own shoes?" Are they kidding me? Will loves his shoes. He wants to sleep in them. At that point, there was never any effort to take them off, only put them on. I had to check no. Yesterday, he was trying to get his "new" tennis shoes off (Carter's old ones) and was struggling. I immediately began to worry. It's almost two months later and he can't take his shoes off! I began to help him get them off, and 8 minutes later I wondered, "If it's this hard for his adult mother to get his shoes off, how is he ever supposed to get them off without help?" And don't we fasten the shoes in such a manner as to discourage them taking them off??? My head is starting to hurt.

On top of worrying about developmental issues (and I'm not even going to get into Carter refusing to learn his numbers at home but comes home from school and voila! knows them all!), there is the burden of unknown potential. I see Baby Will learning things every day and I wonder where his talents will lie. Will he be artistic and dramatic like Carter (though I suppose he can't escape the drama with his genetic combination) or will he be more scientific or more athletic? Maybe none of them. This is where guilt comes in. If you are reading this and you are not a parent, you must be aware that you will need to clear off some space on your shoulders to hold all the guilt you must bear as a parent of small children. Sometimes I feel like every single decision I make for Carter and Will every day is going to have some long term effect on them. For example, if I let them eat McDonalds, they will never eat vegetables again, become overweight, sedentary, and thus having a difficult time in life because we are prejudiced against the obese. But wait, then I say, "Carter, be sure to eat your vegetables and don't eat too much candy because you don't want to be like Augustus Gloop." Thereby causing him to be prejudice. See, you just can't win. I just want him to be as healthy as he can be!! So, you try to think of better ways to say it and reinforce it but still, who knows how it will take root and grow.

And this guilt isn't just with what they are eating. Oh no! It's far reaching into every activity. Will loves to look at books. He could do it for hours. HOURS. Honestly, after about 10 - 15 books, I'm done. We can't just read them. We have to look discerningly at eat picture. Name every single thing in it and what color it is and then turn back to the previous page and remember what was on there before we can move forward. So, I want to set boundaries and limits, but what if turning him down on that last book scars him for life?? What if he never wants me to read to him again? You may think I'm crazy, but I risk it. I just flat out say "No Will. Mama is tired and has to do some chores." I just throw caution to the wind. And probably his full ride to an Ivy League school. Sometimes I think my kids are genius, like yesterday when Carter re-enacted the entire Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, including song and choreography, for my mother in her hospital room. Other times, you wonder about them. Like yesterday when Carter re-enacted the entire Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Of course, I could do the same thing with The Sound of Music when I was child and I turned out okay, didn't I?! Don't answer that.

So, what makes it all worth while? The smell. It's the smell from Will's head when he sits in my lap. It's straight from heaven. Unless he needs a diaper change and then its seem it comes more from the other direction. But any other time, there is this indescribable, wonderful baby smell that is just natural. Carter has kind of grown out of it. They both smell wonderful after a bath, but Will emits this sweet, musky aroma even when he's not freshly bathed. I've talked about defense mechanisms God installs in all new babies; this is one of them. It comes standard with all new baby deliveries. When he sits in my lap, and his downy soft hair brushes against my cheek and I get a whiff of his sweetness, THAT is what makes me read the whole shelf of books to him. It is also a sedative and medicinal, and an anti-depressant and an opiate. It lulls one into a state of lowered defenses where one might, briefly, think another baby wouldn't be such a bad thing. Very briefly.

Steaming Mimi

This has been such a long two weeks. Mimi was in Georgia with Papa and suffered a stroke, so she was hospitalized there and brought here to Lexington just yesterday. The kids came up last night to cheer up their grandparents as only grandchildren can. They mostly climbed and jumped on their Papa. Carter brought Mimi a beautiful piece of artwork he worked especially hard on. He was very proud of it because he chose a pink/purple color scheme which he thought was Mimi's favorite color. He brought tape and he and Papa taped it up to the window because, he explained, it glows when the sun shines through it.

Today, when we came back, it was wild having the two boys in here and trying to help mother, too. Carter would climb up on the radiator and look out the windows and jumping off. Will kept trying to climb up Mimi's bed and using the break as a step. But Carter was so sweet. He kept asking Mimi if he could get her anything or do anything to help her. She asked him to rub her head, and he did - at least the best he could. She asked him to removed her houseshoes and he said "what are househoes?" After that was explained he looked at them and said "these are like bunnies!" So we started to call them her bunny slippers. The best part came when Mimi had her breathing treatment; the vapor surrounded her head and looked like smoke. Both of the boys were transfixed and in awe. Carter asked where all that smoke was coming from. I told him that it wasn't smoke, it was steam, like when we cook something. He said "Is Mimi going to be green beans?!" with a huge grin. Mimi started laughing - actually laughing - and responded "No, steamed broccoli!" That made Carter laugh.

Alpha Males In The Snow

More and more I'm considering changing the name of my blog. The tension my alpha male family creates is sometimes more than I can handle. I like it when they have physical activities to get out some of their energy and urges for dominance. The first picture I'm including is one of them all wrestling. When they are wrestling is when I feel the most calm. I know they are having fun and releasing all that testosterone into the ether. I stay in an adjacent room fitted with a gas mask because I'm sure the testosterone levels are toxic.
Last night we had a fun family movie night and Will got to eat his first popcorn. With his milk allergy, he hasn't had any because it took me awhile to verify some microwave popcorn that doesn't have butter. I suppose I could have done it the old school way, but I'll try that some other time. Will loved the popcorn and stole some from everyone's pile. With his appetite increased, it is nice to find something that he can eat, that is relatively healthy, that fills him up, and that he enjoys. It was a lovely evening sitting in the dark watching a family movie, eating popcorn, with snow peacefully falling outside the windows, under the street light's glow.

We woke up this morning to a wonderful white blanket covering everything in sight. While it is only a few inches, it is definitely the most snow we've received in Carter's lifetime. First, Nathan bundled up in many layers of clothing and headed out to shovel the walk and clear off the cars. Carter resisted going out for a few minutes but the words "snow ball fight" were bandied around and he was suddenly trying to go outside in his sweatpants and jacket. I talked him into at least some mittens and he followed Alpha 1 into the front yard. With Alpha 2 now having more fun outside, Alpha 3 began to pitch a fit to get out. First, he refused to wear his snowsuit. Once I wrestled him into it, after twice dragging him away from the window where he stood pointed and whining, he refused to put on his hood. I acquiessed and got his favorite hat for him to wear. Then came the task of getting some kind of footwear on him. If you recall, he loves his shoes and is particular about which ones he wears and when. I'm not sure why I felt compelled to explain over and over that his shoe choice was inappropriate for snow, but I did. Doc would be proud of me for practicing this important parenting skill. Finally, I got appropriate shoes on him and got him outside. He was miserable. Snow was nothing nearly as he expected. I could tell. It was cold, wet, and it sticks to you - making you cold and wet. I have also included some pictures of them in the snow.
After the snow shoveling and snow ball rolling and general snow fun was had, I came in to fix the homemade chocolate milk. I had to bring Will in with me because he'd had about all of the fun he could handle. The promise of chocolate milk was too seductive for Carter to stay outside, so in he came and peeled off his wet clothes. I have also included a picture of Carter enjoying his chocolate milk.
Now with all the snow, Carter has proclaimed that this is really Christmas Eve and I'm starting to wonder if he is thinking he's going to get more toys in the morning. I think I better start counteracting this train of thought and quickly. Otherwise, when we get up in the morning to go to church, he is going to be very difficult. He already explained to us that what we thought was Christmas back in December was in reality him sneaking down here and putting toys out while we were asleep! YIKES! Where did he get that idea?! So, now he's expecting Santa.
I hear Alpha 1 and Alpha 2 discussing reentering the winter wonderland for snowball fights, snowman creating and snow fort building. I better make sure I have more batteries for the camera. There they go....

Write it down...fast!

With all the things Carter says and Will does, I cannot write these fast enough to record them. I told Nathan a story two nights ago and he said "blog it!' I should have gotten up out of bed and done it right then! Last night I asked him what the story was and he said "I don't remember. I thought that was what the blog is for!" *sigh*
So, only moments ago, Carter told me "someday, I want to have children. And they will live in bunk beds." I asked if he would like to have a bunk bed with Will and he grew impatient with me. "I just told you when I grow up!" I reminded him that he said his _children_ would have bunk beds." I told him that when Will gets about a year and half older, they could share bunk beds. Carter said "I'm going to to sleep on the top and my wife is going to sleep on the bottom." He had my attention! " And Scratch is going to sleep on the bottom and Pounce is going to sleep on top. Do you know why Pounce is going to sleep on top? 'Cause I just love girls." My lips began to quiver and I started biting them to discourage the laughter that was brimming. He was very serious and earnest in this plan and I saw no reason to discourage him.
Will has equally been delighting us in his ability to consume mass quantities of food. He has been not interested in eating while fighting off a cold and the flu, but now he is apparently making up for lost time. In fact, on Tuesday night, I had to just cut him off for fear he would start throwing up from being so full. He never really seemed to get full, though. All day long he follows me around and ask for more food. It's actually getting stressful. Every morning this week, I awake fretting "what do we have to feed Will today?!" No matter how much food I give him, there always seems to be room for more.
Besides devouring his weight in food, he is making other kinds of developmental strides. It seems he is able to understand language more and more every day. He is able to follow directions so well. This weekend, he was making an expression that suggested a BM was imminent. Nathan said "Will, do you need to sit on your potty?" Will took off to the bathroom to sit on his little training potty. I asked Nathan, "Have you been teaching him what that is for?" An astonished dad responded, "NO! I don't know how he knows that!" He is picking up on so many things. He seems so smart to us. He is dancing quite a bit still, but it has transitioned into kind of a disco move where he shuffles his feet as he backs up. It thrills him to do it and it makes me laugh. Last week, I was fixing lunch while Carter was at pre-school, and Will got out the train set, put together a few pieces of track, linked some cars together and was playing in the floor of the kitchen. I glanced over to see what he was doing and could have been knocked over with a feather.
The boys seem to be good buddies and enjoy playing together these days. Will must remember the days when he wasn't so sure on his feet and Carter would let him hold on to his shirt and they would slowly walk around the house. Carter was like his human push cart/walker! Will has begun to grab his shirt and walk with him again. Carter thinks its funny and complies most of the time. Will loves to joke around, too. He insists that horses are dogs and when I correct him he bursts out in peals of laughter. It's become a game we play many times a day. Will loves to read and will happily tote books to any one he can corner for what seems like an eternity (there are only so many times a mother can read "that's not my tractor" in one day).
Some days, discipline is necessary, but not easy. Last night, as Carter, Will, and I sat at the dining room table, Nathan went upstairs for some reason. Carter gasped "Oh no! I forgot to put up some of my toys." I told him that it was okay and when his Daddy came back down, to tell him he was sorry and that he would pick up his toys as soon as supper was over. Carter said "I just don't want him to come down here and freak out." I would have laughed except for at that very moment, I heard a door open and Nathan say "OH MY! CARTER!" As a knot formed in my stomach I looked at Carter and the look on his face said it all: "too late."

The Ice Storm of '03

Everybody is growing up. I just don't understand how this could happen. Two nights ago, I told Carter the story of what happened 5 years ago. He was in my belly and growing very large. The doctor said that he could come at any minute and they would just let him - even though there were still 4 weeks to go for my due date. This news caused me to be nervous and hyper-aware of every twinge, cramp, or inkling. I would pause, stare out into space, and think "was that it?" Right as we received this news, Lexington experienced the worst ice storm in it's history. I awoke on a Sunday morning to hear: crack, pop, crack......CRASH!!! That happened over and over until I could no longer ignore it. I waddled out to the living room and looked out the front windows. Every surface was coated with at least an inch of ice. That doesn't sound like much, but it was devastating to our neighborhood in particular. The tree branches were literally encased in ice. The tree branches were breaking under the weight and crashing to the ground. I looked out the back door to find the huge, old trees back there were terribly damaged, dropping many of their branches. I hurried back to the bedroom where Nathan lay unconcerned and unphased. I woke him up to dutifully inform him that the neighborhood looked like it had been bombed with ice. He could barely muster a response.
As the time to go to church drew nigh, I informed Nathan that he was crazy to venture out and even crazier if he thought I was going to get into a car with a baby in my belly in this kind of weather emergency. He left us anyway assuring me that it couldn't be that bad and Presbyterians don't cancel a worship service. I stayed safe at home and decided I should go ahead and shower just in case the electricity might go out. Of course, right in the middle of my shower, the lights flickered and the room went dark. Fortunately, the water heater is gas powered, so I seriously considered just staying in the shower for awhile since I knew it was going to get cold in the rest of the house. Nathan returned from church laughed that it was very bad out there and that there was a grand total of 8 people at church. HA!
It became apparent that the electricity was not going to come back on any time soon as we heard tales of the tens of thousands of homes without electricity. Our house was getting cold, and dark and Nathan started phoning around -with the cell phone we'd gotten because of the baby in my belly- to our church friends to try to find a floor to sleep on. Every house that had electricity was hosting 2 or 3 other families and had no room for us. We were getting a little panicky and I remember feeling like little Carter in my belly was the safest one of the three of us because he was in a nice, warm home.
We finally decided we were going to have to go to Nathan's parents house an hour away and just take vacation days for Monday. Nathan's dad is a doctor and though he said he would rather not deliver Carter, he could do it if absolutely necessary. We packed up some clothes and perishables and climbed into the SUV and started trying to get out of town. We turned down the Fontaine, but it was blocked. We wove our way over to Richmond Road, and it was blocked with fallen trees. At last, we slowly found a safe route from a policeman and headed to the interstate.
As we traveled down the road, I couldn't help but feel I must know what it was like to be Mary. Here we were, a baby ready to arrive at any time, no place to stay, and wondering what would happen next. We made it safely to Irvine and nested in Mimi and Doc's house. I made a construction paper scene for Carter's room that is still in his room now. Three sheep, a daddy, a mama, and a baby gazing up at a night sky that spells out Carter's name.
Though our neighborhood was still without power, the rest of the city was trying to get back to work. A lovely family from church offered us a room and took exceptional care of us. As it turned out, their daughter was the head resident in Labor and Delivery the day Carter was born AND she was subsequently my doctor for Will. I saw them Sunday and reminded them of our adventure together five years ago. They both smiled wistfully acknowledging that it doesn't seem like it could have been 5 years. That's about the time Carter appeared at my side, so tall and non-baby-like.
Carter didn't show up until his exact due date. And now he wants to see pictures of the ice and trees and him in my belly. I better start hunting for them.