Sending him off to a full day of school has caused anxiety. Not just because I miss him so much, but because of his food allergies. Particularly the peanut butter. Will's allergist said he did not have to have a peanut free room now and that brings all sorts of crazy scenes of horrible reactions to my mind. And it forces me to hand my precious boy over into the protective arms of an all powerful and infinitely loving God. I full admit that I have control issues. Managing Will's food allergies feeds into that need to supervise, and now, I have to let go a little more. I have to trust that God's love for him is even greater than my own - which is so much I can't imagine how there could be more love. Yet God's protection is all we have anyway. Even I am just a delivery system of God protecting my Sweet William. So, I again stand humbled at how patient God is with my stubbornness and balking. He gives us situations to gradually let out babies become big kids, to let them be independent of their hovering, smothering, LOVING mothers.
I have loved asking Will how school is going each day when I pick him up. Every day he's had a good time EXCEPT, "we had to walk so much." If there is one kink in his precious armor, it's that he doesn't like to walk. Just walking to school in the morning, he huffs and puffs like we're trekking across a barren wasteland. So, the walking around to lunch and specials, I'm sure, is no less exerting. But, it makes me giggle every time he talks about all the walking. In all other ways, he just so enthusiastic. His teacher seems to appreciate his happy little personality and has given him great notes at the end of each day.
It's such a bittersweet time, realizing one of your babies is needing you less and less but also realizing your big boy needs you less and less. He's so different from Carter that I'm excited to see how he navigates this exciting world of elementary school
Post Script: I started this post a couple of days ago and as life goes, I haven't had much time to finish up. But I had to add that I spoke to the mother of Will's new school friend. I mentioned I visited at lunch, and because he has food allergies, I just wanted to scan the crowd and see where the peanut butter was. I told her I was relieved to see her son had a ham sandwich. She grinned and said, "Oh he hated peanut butter. I can't believe it because I eat it all the time but he won't touch it." I smiled and responded, "Well, it seems like this friendship was meant to be." So his little buddy hates the stuff that he's so allergic to. More like a friendship made in heaven.
