Life Flies By

It's Mother's Day. That means it's May. That means that Carter has less than 1 month left of Kindergarten. It also means that Will has one last day of Mom's-Day-Out. That means Carter will be officially a "rising" 1st grader. And Will is almost 3 pre-K. Where has the time gone? Why does it feel like time is whooooshing by as I stand still? I suppose that is the curse of being a mother: watching those little people you used to cradle in the crook of your arm transform - in what seems like a blink- into a reading, teeth-losing, big kid.

Carter lost his first tooth. It was, of course, tramatic. Nathan took us out to eat on Tax Day and as we sat in the booth discussing the crazy decorations on the wall, Carter used his tongue to push his tooth back and forth. The poor little thing was clearly hanging by a thread. I asked him to let me pull it. He almost consented but I let him back out since I didn't really want him to lose his first tooth in TGI Friday's. I warned him, though, that it would be a miracle if that tooth made it through supper. Surprisingly, it did. He also shocked me by pointing up on the wall and saying "that says kitchen." I asked him how he knew that and he said "I just read it." He just read it, of course. So after supper, it was off to Maggie Moos for some ice cream for Nathan and Carter. Since Will had his special ice cream in the car and I didn't want any, he and I waited in the van. As Carter sat down, I noticed there was a bigger gap in the bottom of his mouth. I asked him "Carter! Where is your tooth?" Nathan quickly checked him. Sure, enough, it was gone.

Well, this caused all manner of panic and anxiety. First, it was no where to be found. Had he swallowed it? Was it on the floor or on the sidewalk or in his cone? Next Carter began to ask questions like "will the tooth fairy even come if I don't have the tooth?" I reassured him that she would but probably not that night since the tooth fairy has to have 24 hours notice. See, she makes our her route by 5 p.m. and anything after that is probably not going to get in her run. That made good sense to him. I told him I would look it up on the internet about what he should do. After some "research", we decided that the best procedure was for him to make a card for the tooth fairy explaining his dilemma. He did so, and even drew and cut out "tooth" to replace the real one. Of course, all this took a couple of days and he finally got it under his pillow on a Friday night.

A good tooth fairy would go in early and make the swap while it's still dark. Unfortunately, our tooth fairy kind of forgot - only to wake up panic stricken Saturday morning. Luckily for her, Carter was still sleeping and so was Will. She grabbed her two golden Presidential dollars and carefully tip-toed up the stairs, trying to hit all the non-creaky spots. She sneaked in to his room as he lay quietly sleeping. She stuck her hand under his pillow in an effort to retrieve the card and "tooth." He began to stir! Silent panic. She froze momentarily. ARG! If only it was dark out. After 3 seconds of freezing, she ducked down at the end of his bed behind a huge dragon hoping if he opened his eyes he wouldn't detect her. He continued to sleep. Her muscles relaxed as she peered out his open door through Will's open door. It was dangerously close to Will's waking time and that would be the last thing this Tooth Fairy needed.

Again, she gently slipped her arm under his pillow. His breath caught and he shifted his position. More panic. The Tooth Fairy gently stuck the coins under the pillow along with a note she wrote to him and dashed down the stairs as quickly as possible. Mr. Tooth Fairy was waiting and got the full report. But the tooth fairy was unsatisfied by having to leave the card and substitute tooth. She was determined to try again. So, once more she tip-toed up the stairs, crept into his room, and ever so delicately maneuvered her arm under his pillow. WHERE WAS THIS CARD? It must have been placed exactly under his 20 pound head. Well, it felt that heavy to the tooth fairy. Again, he stirred and she bolted back down the stairs to fairyland. After consultation with Mr. Tooth Fairy, it was agreed that his items would just have to be left to protect their secret fairy identity.

Not 5 minutes after the tooth fairy winged her way into the sunrise, Carter woke up. His room is directly over ours. We heard feet hit the floor. We noticed a measured pause and then light foot steps over to the stairs and down them. He came into our room and was somewhat pleased with his gold, but it was clear he was disappointed the tooth fairy didn't take his card. Luckily, the internet research had prepared him for such a circumstance as it said that sometimes the Tooth Fairy cannot take extraneous items with her - depending where you land on her route and how much room she has left in her pouch. He was, however, pleased with the note she left him. Clearly, she had read his note.

The Tooth Fairy business is tough work and she should definitely be receiving hazardous pay.

Single Mom Superhero Nightmare

This week my very helpful husband has been out of the country on a mission trip with our church. I knew that it would be a challenge for me to keep up with our two boys all by myself. I am well aware how much work they actually require. I am equally aware of how much my husband chips in with these thousands of tasks every day - from endlessly supplying them food to fuel their seemingly unlimited cache of energy to brushing their 40 little teeth. Personally, I am always exhausted by their bedtime needs. I just want to tuck them in, say prayers, and say good-night. My mother says that is what I was like as a child, so I suppose it's carried over into my adulthood. Will is kind of like that. He is happy to get in his bed and satisfied with a prayer and maybe a short book. He might even want to look at the book by himself. This week, Will surprised me by saying, "Turn off light, please" as soon as he got in his bed. I found that quality endearing. Carter, on the other hand, is more labor intensive. He wants to read books and look at pictures and hug and cuddle and pray. But, a mother has to draw the line somewhere. One book, one prayer, one hug, and then lights out. Don't I sound so strong and in control?? Well, don't believe it. I really feel guilty for not giving Carter all the hugs and stories he wants.

Going in to this week, I was dreading it. It is the first time Nathan has left on a trip and I've had no help for most of the week. Usually, I finagle people to come over and help out for all but two nights. Grandparents, cousins, aunts, friends, anyone who will be kind enough to spend the night, eat a meal, or change a diaper received the pitiful plea. However, this time, I just didn't do it. My mother was not feeling well, and I surely didn't want her to travel up. My cousin was busy with work. Everyone was busy. Honestly, I wanted to try to go it alone; be a single mom for the week and test my mettle. I thought with Carter in school all day and Will having one day at school right in the middle was going to make this a successful foray into my stint as Wonder Woman. Still, I'm not insane, I did book my in-laws for the next to the last night, for Will to sleep over and then all of us for the last night. It was completely necessary for me to have care for Will on the last day because I had a check-up scheduled and Will really hates doctors.

I have to say this little experiment has taught me many things. For one, I was very organized. I planned the week's meals all in advance. I consulted the weather for the week and laid out Carter's clothes for the whole week. We all ate together at the table every night. We ate vegetables. We did homework. We played. I managed to get the house in order. The one thing I didn't do a lot of was sleep. I was so consumed by my many tasks I found that I couldn't sleep well at night. Of course, I had an abiding desire to go to bed early. Every night my eyes would barely stay open long enough to get the children in bed. It is likely this unrelenting urge that caused me to dread getting Carter all squared away. I just wanted it to be over so I could sleep.

By last night, I felt I was likely dancing with fate. Something dark loomed on my horizon. I couldn't quite make out what this ominous feeling meant, but it lingered in my mind. As we baked cookies for Carter's class Valentine party, my head irritated a bit, my eyes burned, and my back ached. As soon as possible, which was about 11 o'clock, I sank into my pillow lifeless and happy. Again, I didn't sleep well. I awoke repeatedly to check the time. I finally rose at 6:40 to get on with my last day of superhero work. Carter got off to school just fine. I went to my doctor's appointment and that is when it started. By it I mean my nervous breakdown. After the easy and uncomplicated visit, I broke down crying. I sat in my Van of Solitude and tried to get a grip. I kept wondering why I was so emotional. What was wrong? What is going on? I calmed down at last and got my lunch. Then, I walked up to Carter's Valentine party and helped out some. I was so tired on the way home, I could almost feel the coolness of the pillow on my cheek. I lay down, thinking I'd never be able to sleep because I do not nap easily during the day.

The next thing I knew my eyes opened and I looked at my watch. 3:28! WHAT?! I don't remember putting on my shoes or coat. The next thing I remember was that I was running and I was at the end of our block. I crossed in traffic - which I never do during school hours. I ran faster. I saw there were no parents cars on the street, no kids milling about by the side door. I checked my watch again. Was it really 3:30? Maybe it was just 2:30 and I really had 30 more minutes. No, 3:30 flashed in my face? Is it not 4:30 and I'm an hour late? There are no cars, no kids! My brain was still half asleep, I was confused, and I was so scared. I turned the corner of the back of the building and there were no cars in the usually eternal car line. I ran faster. How did it get so deserted in 15 minutes?? Where was everyone? As I came into view of the back door where I pick up Carter, there he stood, the only child left, between two teachers. He yelled "there she is!" ran to me. I apologized to the teachers and they smiled and waved it off. I explained in a word that I feel asleep. They just laughed. Then I really broke down. I just started crying and I couldn't stop. It was like a nightmare. The deserted school, the running, the tight feeling in my chest. I couldn't believe that it was real.

The boys have been so good all week long. They really haven't given me any trouble. Carter has been especially helpful and sweet. And here is where it really shown. He looked at me crying and said "It's okay mama. It's okay. I wasn't scared." He seemed no less worse for the wear. In fact, he was just as buoyant as ever. He chatted on as we walked and I tried to see between my tears. He's a tough kid. Seriously, though, can someone tell me how that school was cleared out in 15 minutes? FIFTEEN.

So, here's to single moms. How you can do it alone I will never know. My hat is off to you.

The 5 Year Old

There are few things in my life that has given me more joy than when Carter skips. I don't know how or exactly when he learned how to do it, but suddenly one day this fall he could skip. We were walking home from school and I asked, as I always do "did you have a good day of school?" He chirped "yep" and skipped out in front of me. I immediately felt a smile spread across my face. He was completely unaware and lacked any self-consciousness about it. It was contagious. I could feel myself wanting to join in and be a Kindergartner again myself.

Since then, he continues to break out in spontaneous skipping. And every time, it makes my heart and my spirits lighter. I wish he could pull off skipping in such an innocent and boyish way for the rest of his life, but I recognize there is limited window that skipping is allowed for a boy. I mean, if Nathan took off skipping I'd laugh in hysterics and for reasons that aren't so kind. This is such a magical moment for me with Carter. I find myself in anguish that Kindergarten is half over. He's grown so tall and knows so much. I have seen the first graders and maybe they still skip when they are feeling joyful, but it's hard to say. I'm willing to bet second grade boys have nothing to do with it.

I suppose I should try to keep a more balanced view, you know, throw in a few thoughts of when he's being stubborn or whiny, or repeating the same phrase hundreds of times in a row, but I can't always. The cold, hard truth is that he is basically, a sweet, thoughtful, and loving boy. He is always ready with a hug and kiss, he is usually happy to help out with his little brother, and he loves having responsibility. I suppose someday he'll be a teenager and all of this skipping euphoria will have dissipated in a gray cloud of mumbling disrespect. Alas.