And miles to go before I sleep... and bad losers.

Last weekend I realized I have not slept through the night in over a year.  Nathan raised an eyebrow and questioned my math, "Arabella is not even a year old."  I reminded him that in the last month of pregnancy, I had to get up to go to the bathroom every night.  He quickly jumped on board my pity party and validated my grumpiness.  He tried to empathize and say neither had he slept through the night in that long.  Now, I know he is a light sleeper and wakes easily when he's here.  And I also recognize that he stays at his new job very late, often past midnight.  However, I had to pursue it a little further.  "You didn't sleep the whole night through since you've been staying at the Hilton in Indianapolis?"
"Well....uh...I have to get up and go to the bathroom..."
"Oh.  I didn't realize you didn't sleep well there. What about when you went to Asia?"
"No, I uh had jetlag and my sleep schedule was completely off."
"Oh right.  Well, what about when you went to San Diego."
After a wide, moony grin wiped across his face, he said, "Yes.  I did sleep very well there.  It was pretty great."
"Must be nice."

She could sleep in Italy

The thing is Bella used to be my sleeper.  She took naps easily and slept soundly.  She would go to sleep in the evening and only wake once in the middle of the night and then once really early in the morning.  I felt like the Lord was finally blessing me with a child who liked to sleep as much as I do.  However, she is like her brothers now.  She no longer needs sleep.  Or rather wants it.  She is clearly growing out of her morning nap, just like her brothers did.  Neither of them took two naps much past the 12 month old mark.  Currently, I'm lucky if she sleeps 45 minutes in the morning.  Her afternoon naps can still be considerable, if we can get her to sit still long enough.  Also just like her brothers, she has given up the pacifier.  All three of them reached a point where they would yank it out of their mouth, or my hand if they saw it coming, and throw it to the other side of the room.  They would look at me with contempt as if to say "DON'T STICK THAT THING IN MY MOUTH AGAIN!"  While it's nice to not have them need a pacifier any more, the flip side is that all three are then inconsolable. 

Me by Thursday morning

The worst has been this last week; even worse than her newborn weeks, .  She has awakened about 4 times a night.  I don't know if she's teething.  I don't know if her belly is hurting her.  I don't know if she's hungry.  What I do know is I can't go much longer living like this.  I can barely function, especially parenting alone for most of the week.  The poor boys must think I've lost my mind and I kind of feel like I must look similar to Cruella DeVille.  Naturally, my patience is thin and my temper is quick.  I have been praying about it and I hope God will resolve this problem easily and painlessly.  Did you just laugh?

And now, let me tell you about some poor losers.  UK just suffered a heartbreaking loss to UNC.  Carter could not eat dinner because he was lamenting.  He took it really hard.  Will tried to make him feel better and encourage him.  But nothing worked.  Then Carter sat bolt upright, he ran to the supply shelf and returned with a light blue sheet of paper.  He wrote UNC on it.  Then he violently crumpled it up and said "THIS IS NORTH CAROLINA!"

Then he ripped it.
He chewed it up and spit it out.
Then he threw it out into the snow.
It's awaiting to be run over with the car, so he made another one.
The stabbed it with needles.  They punched it and jumped on it.
(Notice the pronoun has changed - that's because his dad and brother joined in on the satisfying action)

Then they microwaved it.  Stuck it in the freezer.  Then...unbeknownst to others in the house, he threw it in the toiled at urinated on it.  Now I think they are going to flush it.  At least, I hope that is the plan.

Just be glad it wasn't Tennessee.  I'm sure armed weapons and worse bodily functions would have been involved.

***Post Script:  The night after posting this, Arabella slept for 6 uninterrupted hours for the first time in her life.  After this mother had that much sleep, she was full of frenetic energy the next morning, and speculated this must be what one feels like after 3 or 4 espressos.  But first, she praised the gracious Lord - seriously.  Thank you, Lord!

"Let me explain...No, there is too much. Let me sum up."

Buttercup marries Humperdink in little less than half an hour. I love The Princess Bride

So, let me sum up: It looks like we're moving...to Indiana. After two full-day interviews, a couple of months of silence and assuming they'd found someone else, a job offer, an angry former employer, being slapped with a temporary restraining order, going to court, laboring through settlement negotiations, and trying to figure out how the move would actually proceed, we will be moving...to flat, cold Indiana. I include the map below to show you it's precarious position NORTH of the Ohio River. *shudders*

Yes, I know, you're jealous of our new exotic location. I can admit that it's not what I really want. I can say that I'm less than thrilled to move from a town I really love, to take my kids out of a really wonderful school, and to leave friends and family. But, it was clearly God's will and my dad told me that the most dangerous place you can be is outside of what God wants. He is taking it much better than I am. He's a dad though, and he can see how professional advancement is good for his grandchildren and their future. That, and he's just a great dad.

Nathan started his new job about a month ago and has been staying there during the weeks and coming home on the weekends. He seems to like his new job and new employer. But I can't help but think he has to be lonely without us. I mean, he's living in a Hilton. Where these nice ladies come in and straighten his room and clean his bathroom every day. That has to be so annoying after living here. Who needs a bathroom cleaned every single day anyway? And there's that breakfast buffet. If you know Nathan, you know Nathan hates buffets. He likes the cold cereal he gets here. And what about getting to go where you want, when you want, as fast as you want? That just gets old. There's nothing like trying to herd three kids into the van and get them all settled down into a seatbelt and then listen to them talk endlessly about whatever it is they talk about while you desperately try to listen to the radio. That is a skill set he is totally losing. And let's not forget how much he is missing the baby...in the middle of the night. I get to enjoy her every night, several times as she has yet to sleep through the night one single time in her 9 months. He is missing out with all the Indiana sleeping he's doing. Poor guy. So lonely.

Meanwhile, down here in the Promised Land, we are on a strict weekly schedule. I love a good schedule and really don't deal well with deviations. My kids love deviations. Or rather, they must love to cause deviations. They get strep throat (for the first time ever, might I add), antibiotic allergic reactions, and stomach bugs that just throw us into a tailspin. I cannot schedule those and they know it. Being a single mom is really much harder than I ever thought. And don't get me wrong, I pretty much suspected it was going to be exhausting. But I rather egotistically thought I could get this good schedule going, because experts tell us that KIDS LOVE SCHEDULES. Perhaps these experts haven't met my kids. The genetic offspring of Mr. Fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants Go-with-the-flow. I believed those experts because I love a schedule. Apparently that is not a dominant trait on the DNA double helix.

So, when are you actually moving, you are asking. That is a super good question. Since the job offer basically coincided with the beginning of school and the subsequent legal snare took us about a month into school, we didn't want to move the boys out of classes they were already settled into. Not to mention schools they both know well and feel secure in. Carter's school is wonderful and he has made it clear he doesn't want to move from it. I admit the fact that Will won't go to Kindergarten there next year brings tears to my eyes each time I think about it. Also, we have to fix up and sell our current house. And from what I hear, we are in a recession and the housing market is kind of flat right now. The short answer to when we will actually move is: at the end of the school year. At least, that is how I see it. Nathan might see it earlier than that, especially with how lonely he is and how clean that Hilton bathroom is. Carter has said he thinks he'll have to move there by the time he graduates from high school. Will is only vaguely aware of moving, and Arabella, she couldn't care less.

Even though this situation is difficult, I'm learning a lot. I've learned that I can't do it on my own even with a good schedule. I have to let others help me. I have to ask for help. I have to admit that I am not Super Woman or even Martha Stewart. Most importantly, I have to ask an all-powerful God for strength and patience every. single. day. minute. I have learned that my children are sinners. And that, like Paul, I am the worst of them. They have more patience with me than I do with them a lot of the time. They are tender-hearted and really love responsibility.

These days, I am surprised at how old Carter seems. He's like the best big brother anyone could want. Arabella lights up when he gets home from school. She clearly wants his attention and basks in it when she gets it. Carter is so good with her it amazes me. He talks sweetly to her and holds her and plays with her. He never even complains that many times his job is to get Arabella to stop crying. Maybe twice he has said, "Sometimes, it's hard being the oldest." God has given him the personality for being oldest: responsible, introspective, and caring. Will is, for the most part, like a ray of sunshine. He is buoyant and light. He loves hugs and just wants to do what Carter is doing. Where Carter seems like an old soul, Will is the innocent. He sometimes reminds me of Spongebob in that optimistic, wide-eyed, carefree way. And Arabella is the Baby Petite Princess she was born to be. She smiles and the charms every where she goes. We are often stopped by people who tell us she is the prettiest baby they've ever seen and are amazed at her eyes. They are violet. And she is already trying to keep up with her brothers. She is crawling around and very dissatisfied at how slow that goes. Therefore, she is pulling up every chance she finds and even tries to push herself up when nothing to pull up on is near. Just the other day, I found her in a downward facing dog position. So, I'm sure she'll be up and running in no time.

The best part of the whole thing is how clearly God is taking care of us, showing us grace and mercy, and really giving us strength. He is faithful to us and loves us. He is good all the time.

Technical Difficulties

I don't know what I want to talk about. Our lovely trip to Italy with our sweet Bella? Carter being the very first Star Student of the Week for this year? Our impending move to Indianapolis? Will's new trick to avoid doing what he doesn't want to do? My terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day? I just don't know.