How to Enjoy Your Kids

For a week, I have visited this page in vain. There was nothing worthwhile to write about. No one wants to hear about how many times Carter needed punishment nor how often Will whined. Our family has been having personality problems. Not just the little ones, but we big ones were acting out, too. It's amazing how little things add up and effect everyone in the house.

Carter repeatedly broke the rules and would justify himself by blaming us. He never quite grabbed on to the concept of accepting one's responsibility for one's actions. Mimi and Papa came to visit and Carter even blamed them for his sinful forays. He secretly took gum from Mimi's purse and left a pile of wrappers hidden in a corner. He snatched a bag of Teddy Grahams. And on and on. I couldn't remember the last day he hadn't been seriously disciplined.

Meanwhile, Will was causing his own brand of chaos. He has a painfully shrill shriek that emanates when anything does not measure up to his expectations. And trust me when I report that 80% of the day was not meeting his perceived needs. He would have moments of sweetness, of cuddling, and giggling, and saying incredible new words. But mostly, it was anger, shrieking, and dramatic episodes of flopping on the floor and burring his head under his hands.

The question is how does God give you patience? I've learned not to ask for it because the way to get it is kind of like the way of getting a baby. Through a lot of personal pain; there's a reason the phrase "the patience of Job" is so potent. Yet, I believe God was preparing us for something. I am secretly hoping that these last weeks have been a substitution for cranky teenage years. But, I know better. Maybe they are a foreshadowing, instead. I'm not sure. Nathan and I began with a calm approach, which turned into mild aggravation, then on to a simmering boil, and finally, bewildered numbness. We were out of ideas. Out of energy. And in the catatonic, 100 yard stare a still, small voice came to me. It's my fault. Well, not completely. But I had to take responsibility for my actions, too.

I started thinking why would Carter take foods out of the pantry? When we asked him he would just say "It's just so hard not to." For some reason, it hadn't hit me that if I feed him enough, he might not even think about what food was hanging around. He's growing a lot right now. He probably needs more food. And coincidentally, so is Will. I fed them a lot on Friday and even Nathan commented on how much food Will was eating. But he had to admit that both of them were in better moods and Carter didn't snitch any.

Another reason the boys might be acting out is they want our attention. So, we took them to the drive-in movie on Friday night. They loved it. Well, mostly Carter did. They both fell asleep in the back of the SUV cuddled up to each other, Carter with his arm over Will. I would have taken a picture but I was not anxious for a flash to wake them.

And the last reason, I figured out Saturday when none of us got a good night's sleep after being out at the drive in. Growing boys need more sleep. These growing boys aren't big on sleep. They might miss something fun and interesting. After a fun visit from Uncle Prentiss, Carter and Will both reached meltdown status. I forced them both to lie down with me for no less than 20 minutes. Will was out and actually drooling onto the pillow in two minutes flat. Carter took longer, but only about 8 minutes. He continued to sleep for 13 hours. Will woke up for about an hour and then went right back to bed. Everyone woke this morning with songs in our hearts. I heard Carter singing "If you're happy and you know it." I heard Nathan laughing with joy. I heard Will giggling in delight. It was nice to have my sweet boys back.

But hold on to your seats! There's more! Will fell asleep on the way home from church. Carter helped me finish up dinner preparation. The three of us ate together and Carter talked in a happy, charming way the whole time. He couldn't eat much because he talked so much. Nathan and I were enchanted once again. After the meal, the rest of us took a nap. Yes, Carter slept even more. Everyone slept some more. Everyone woke up with dancing this time. I purchased a new song for Carter on itunes and he, Will, and Nathan danced all around the living room.

In Sunday School this morning, we discussed suffering. One point was made that how can we truly enjoy and appreciate blessings without also knowing the experience of affliction. I don't know that I would necessarily call Carter's and Will's recent behavior afflictions, but they are more toward that end of the spectrum than the blessing. Which actually turns it into blessing; a blessing because after plunging to the depths, we have been lifted up to a new height.

I have taken solace over the last couple of weeks in gazing upon my hydrangea bush that Nathan gave me as an anniversary gift a few years ago. It is breathtaking this year. Full and colorful orbs of flowers, bowing the branches with their weight. Some clusters are blue, others are purplish, and a few even have a bit of pink. However, last year a late frost killed off the buds and not one single bloom emerged. It was just a green, leafy bush. Nothing to really enjoy. It was just sort of there. This year, I took no chances. When there was even a chance of a frost in late April and May, I covered them with my bedsheets. I wonder if I would have really appreciated the more than 20 blooms this year in the same euphoric way, if there hadn't been any last year.